Yo youngbloods, I know that all you kids think that Jaynelle and I is pretty fly and I’d be a liar if I told you we wasn’t. But there’s some serious stuff we need to talk about. Stuff that’s so uncool that it’ll turn you into a prostitute, make you broke, steal you from your parents (who love you), and will eventually kill you. And I ain’t talkin bout no dimestore beats or country music. I’m talkin bout drugs. Let me be strait with you – this one time in grade five my homeboy Bucktooth G found a cigarette in his Dad’s glove compartment and me, Jaynelle, Southside Stacy, Bucktooth and Fat Tom all thought we would be cool and smoke that shit in the Forbidden Forest. And that’s exactly what we did. But it wasn’t a cigarette. This shit was straight Cali Kush. We got so smashed we all almost died. I thought demons was gonna rip my legs off and use them as devil sticks. Five years later, Southside Stacy was a prostitute and Fat Tom had the munchies so bad he gained eight-hundred pounds. Bucktooth G committed suicide because nothin in life felt as good as that straight Cali marijuana. Only Jaynelle and I escaped. All because we talked to our parents, teachers and councilors about the totally fucked shit going down in the Forbidden Forest. Save yourself, little homies. Don’t do drugs. Let the Ninja Turtles tell you more here.
2geth+er, boy band to be reckoned with. ROW CALL! Jerry “The Heartthrob”, Chad Linus “The Shy One”, Q.T “The Cute One”, Doug Linus “The Older Brother” and finally the one and only…Mickey Parke “the bad boy!!!” (WORD!). GANGS ALL HERE!!
2geth+er needs more love, you guys. How could you forget about such hits as “you+me= us” (freeze proof make out song) and “The hardest part of breaking up (is getting back your stuff)” and not to forget “say it (don’t spray it) aka. my ringtone. ALL GEMS.
You know what wasn’t a gem? 2geth+er’s rival band, Woah and their hit single “Rub One Out.” Such jerks. What does that even mean? Pink eye? Anyway, just get back on board ok? -2AMBER
“Mickey Parke has one ho and one ho only, and that’s Mickey Parke!”-Mickey Parke
Brotha that fact that you are having sex should be good for any man. Why the hell are you thinking about that anyways. Get the job done. When I’m with my boo’s I ain’t thinking about Mcdonalds or how much chedder I got. I’m think’n about the cake I got in my hands and how I’m going to slice it.
Im like so totally hot and for some really weird reason everytime I walk walk by this JERK in my mathematics class hecalls me a shmag. Everytime my dad calls someone a shmag it looks like this person got hit with a piece of plywood in the face. Like i said, im super hot... should i suggest that they get glasses something? I dont want to be mean, but its like obvious.
- *pritti*princess69~
Asked by Anonymous
Hey I’s got a question for you. How much time do you spend checking yourself, talking about yourself and generally going off about yourself? Once my mexican brotha Rameriz came down with this pimped out ride. Off the hinges yo. He kept dialing up the knotches on that sheet. Really stroken his ego about it. Daytons, spoilers, haligram paint job, off the heezy for real. But then he got too proud and started throwing in jazz that was too hot to handle, you know what I’m saying. Whistle Tip mufflers, wings, hamburger hood ornements. Wack! That once pimp ride turned into a car that not even a mentally retarded clown would wanna be seen in. Bare bones. Be true to yourself is all I’m gettin at.
Warren Chester Grog used to hang out with PJ Fresh Phil (who was slightly less cool and laid back than WCG) until he hijacked his show back in ‘93 and started broadcasting a renegade show called WTV (warren tv, obvs). It was the shit. Some of the other Grogs were: Gidian, Chigonk, Rosencrantz, Jasper, Filth, Sorbet, and Iffer- but they were pretty budget. Legend has it that Warren used to get more fan mail than all the PJS (you’re welcome) but behind the scenes the puppet creators wanted to keep the rights to the Grogs and YTV wanted to make ‘merch- so they fired all the Grogs (I KNOW RIGHT!) when they refused to let them make big Warren urine cakes and Rosencrantz brand tampons.
I got forced to do a social studies project with the biggest nerd at my school. But she turned out to be pretty cool and not that gross after she took off her glasses. I'm a jock and she's a brain. How do I know if I'm cool enough to date a loser and still be popular? Peace. Mike D.
Asked by Anonymous
Every jock wants to live the dream. They think they are like a Brett Favre or something. They treat people like balls and then step over all the smart people every which way. first off you are not Brett Favre and second Bill Gates still makes way more money then the football itself. Date the nerd cause five years from now your gonna be balding, be looking for a job with only a communications degree and the only thing you’ll have left to hold on to is your nerdy girlfriend that is making a hundred g’s testing out channel lotions on retarded kittens. Plus nerds know how to freak if you know what I mean.
I went ice skating with my crush and fell on the ice really hard and banged my butt and accidentally let a tiny bit of poo out. I don't think he noticed but I ran away...now he thinks I don't like him. Should I tell him the truth?
-Julia N
Vancouver, BC
Asked by Anonymous
POO! Oh shit no. HAAA. That shit happened? To you? Yo Sass!! Check this girl out. Man. Yo you gotta bail on the situation and if he ask you about it like blame it on your period cause nobody likes poo and not on a date especially not on a first date. Sometime when I just take a shit in the washroom at the In and Out or where ever. I just straight call my girl on the telephone and tell em I gotta step out side for a bit then I just bust out. When she asks where I went I just tell her that I gonna surprise her later with somethin else. I got a stack gold earrings that I bought at the Wal-Mart that I keep for just this sort of thing. I like comic books. He must like them too. Or spring up on him with a KGJ rookie card cause that shits pimp like the Frasier spin off show.
I don't have any clean underwear...is it gross if I wear my bathing suit bottom under my dress?
-Liz K
Asked by Anonymous
Don’t wear that shit. You’ll get a rash or somethin and its not comfortable trust me I know for a fact.I ain’t selfish down there if you know what I’m saying. Just do what I do and keep your underwear inside out to a two flip minimum or just wear nothing at all PEACE nothing at all.
My girlfriend farts during sex. What do I do?
