Chillen is the key. No girl ever wants a man without no balls. Next time you see her, top thinking about yourself and start thinking about something way off topic.  Like when I stumble on a girl that’s way to hot for words I start imagining like me and Snoop eating meaty el gordos tacos while Beyonce gives us back massages on the hood of a pearl white rimmed out lambo that just so happens to be parked next to the pool at the playboy mansion.  T-pain is making me a dope hat and Oprah is locked in a cage.  Imagine Oprah doing anything and your penis won’t move a muscle.

That aint work. Work is for people that are too lazy to stand up for the their own rights. I believe in my own rights! You got no rights and nobody is foolen on that.  Everytime you step off a curb, you on the man’s property. I don’t owe you nothing! The MAN needs to own up.  He who shall givith the money shall takith it away.  4:20 New Jaynelle Testimentality.  PS. It’s not my fault you don’t got your own sass mix.

Check it

4 cubes ice
10 oz rootbeer
2 oz JD
1/2 oz lime juice
1 oz spiced rum
umbrella

I call it the sassperella umbrella. Like you got a bunch of money rain’n on you.

Sometimes you got to ask yourself, “what do I want to be when I grow up”, a hoe or a girl that has style.   You can wear any belly shirt you wanna wear but if it’s made out of an old sweater that has all those little linty balls on them and there is a picture of cat on the  sweater then you better stop while your ahead and think about what your doing. That shit is what crazy people wear not hot girls.

Who’s been hate’n on you lately. Take those pubes and make a tiny doll wig and give  it to someone you hate but don’t tell em that the wig is made of pubes. Then when you see that person playing with the doll, you yell out, “that dolls got a cha cha wig”.   If you don’t wanna do that then just feed them to a dog or something.

Dogs don’t know shit but cats on the other hand have got some sort of ESP shit going on. Like all that catnip they be on or something makes em freak out and start purring all over the place.  One time my aunty came over and she left her purse by the couch and me being broke at the time came down to sneak a few bills.  I don’t know how my aunties found out but the next day I had fleas.  It’s like that cat told her and then she told the cat to come give me fleas. Dam I itched for weeks and I don’t even know how it get done.

I spend 50 percent of my time with girls and the 50 percent hustl’n KGJ rookie cards like business. Last year on the street where I conduct my business ventures, there would be like 4 or five other cars all lined up down the road hustlin there shit too.   I wasn’t have’n none of it.   I bought two big bags of weed from my dog Ramone and at night I spread that weed all over those cars.  Right in the tail pipe and in the wheel well, all over the place. Then I called the cops.   Now those bitches are in a jail and now I own the block but shit when they get out there going to be coming after me.   All I’m saying is you got to break a few eggs to make your self some waffles.   Just don’t get pregnant well your making those waffles. 

Is this a girl talking? Cause if it is you better watch some TV and pick up a magazine cause that’s not suppose to happen on a woman and if it does you better question the lord on his policies. I suggest Brazilian wax or just buy the cheap stuff and some calamine lotions cause I know that shit burns like a motherfucker.

That’s a tough one. I suggest you look on the Internet at pictures of older ladies and compare. All I know is that once you grow out of any Miley Cyrus songs and stop wearing Roxy clothes you on your way. But you know once you make out with an older man and he’s doesn’t say, “How old are you” when you take your clothes off, that your pretty much a woman.

You better stop flipping out cause you gonna be dealing with a baby you don’t want and he’s not going to listen to your problems if you keep askin and callin him non stop. He’s with his boys and don’t neeed no trouble from some girl that only took him to second base. I’m a home run hitter. If I don’t get my balls slapped around and thrown out of the park, you can guarantee that I won’t be buying you a baseball ticket. Better take up curling cause that shits cold.