Like Whoa. Control Control Control. Don’t make me repeat myself yo. Nobody likes a cat that’s pushing hard on any momma. You ever made it with a woman that’s way to drunk to get her freak on? Man it’s like trying to knock over the twin towers with a Lambo, you ain’t going to go no where without looking stupid in the end and ruining your mack daddy capabilities. Mommas can smell that shit like bad hummer colone a mile aways. Sooner or later you’ll be sippen mararitas in a downtown motel by yourself taking to woman twice your age cause all the young mommas are going to exile you from the real cake. Calm down and act like everything is no big deal cause those girls that want the pressure are going to want it from you even more. I speak from the heart yo. You play the game too hard and your going to look like KGJ and get forced into retirement.

Everybody laughs, that’s a matter of fact. You got to cause one day your gut is going to burst when it does happen. Sounds like you a rock that could never be smoked. What happens when you look up? does the sky fall down? You got to switch you mind and start thinking the opposite, you smell me? You not laughing is probably cause you think about how everything is shot to the curb. I bet if you got a years supply of burgers you’d say “oh man I’m going to get fat” instead of “oh man I can feed all my friends for the entire year”. You got to switch your style. Re-route your brain stem to always think on the up and up and not the down and down. Don’t look at a bee like its going to sting you, look at it like it’s going to fuck a flower and make that shit blooooom! Brains are creatures of habit. They get stuck in their own ghetto and they can’t get out. Just hustle till they get shot. Once you start thinking G-money all them brownies are going to be left behind you like smoke from muffler, you know what I’m saying. Stay positive and look up and eventually you’ll stop over-analyzing every joke that is suppose to be funny until you ripped it’s heart out with your negative greezy ways. Once you do this you’ll laugh till your gut comes out your backside. If that fails purple cush prevails. Relax.

Stay true man stay true. Don’t be front’n You got to modulate on whose who and whose what, you know what I’m saying. Check this. I used to be off the rim when I was kick’n it in high school. Hung out with all the OG’s, D-boys and we would act the fool on any punk, goths, just get our beats on play’n them like a country fiddle. We just did it cause it made us look like we owned it. High schools like a weird sort of child prison. You all pick sides and join up with the toughest crew, you stick to you corner cause you don’t want to get a high school style shiv stuck in your back. All them nerds, queers, “nobodies” get thrown in the corner. Man I remember this one cat K-LO, I used to chill with, owned the school owned it. He push this nerd little bitch around till that kid cryed to his momma everyday. Years later after school was finished I saw K-LO wash’n buckety ass cars at this ole dang shop down in b-town. What rolls up but a g’d out Merchedes LS coup right into hands of K-LO and who’s driven that coup? Nerdy little bitch. Now whos the player now? Those kids you push down are bound to push you down later but if you’s all repect from the get go, later on you be rollin in the passenger side sippin champaine straight out the bottle. You don’t gotta change your style you just gotta change your attitude. Once one jock falls then all the other jocks, players, haters, OG’s gonna follow and you all gonna get along. That’s world politics. Listen to MJ about it. He speaks the truth.

When I make a sale down on wes Holly and I’m all like ballaholic! ice-out, gotta spend some chedder, I take out my baby mommas down to the Marriot and dress myself to the nines like P-diddy would if he wasn’t spending all his dollars on crystall and hendawg.   When the shit gets hot at my table I know that I gotta get my grown on real quick!  But you know that them bitches get their grove on just the same but only to get some bank roll.  I know what they want but aint just gonna giv’m that yo.   Got at her right? Spread the words not the bills.  I’d say like “you got a smile that makes me want to get to know you better”  or ” I want to write my phone number just in case you want someone to listen to you” Shit like that. Ill.  But your a woman.  First thing i’d say is “hey you gotta a girlfriend” or “hey what time do you get off tonight”  send those signals right.  Like whoa and that dawgs gonna be tossen bills back at you and be getting his grown man on you real soon.

Brotha that fact that you are having sex should be good for any man.  Why the hell are you thinking about that anyways.  Get the job done.  When I’m with my boo’s I ain’t thinking about Mcdonalds or how much chedder I got.  I’m think’n about the cake I got in my hands and how I’m going to slice it.

Hey I’s got a question for you. How much time do you spend checking yourself, talking about yourself and generally going off about yourself? Once my mexican brotha Rameriz came down with this pimped out ride. Off the hinges yo. He kept dialing up the knotches on that sheet. Really stroken his ego about it. Daytons, spoilers, haligram paint job, off the heezy for real.  But then he got too proud and started throwing in jazz that was too hot to handle, you know what I’m saying. Whistle Tip mufflers, wings, hamburger hood ornements. Wack! That once pimp ride turned into a car that not even a mentally retarded clown would wanna be seen in.   Bare bones. Be true to yourself is all I’m gettin at.

Every jock wants to live the dream. They think they are like a Brett Favre or something.  They treat people like balls and then step over all the smart people every which way.  first off you are not Brett Favre and second Bill Gates still makes way more money then the football itself.  Date the nerd cause five years from now your gonna be balding, be looking for a job with only a communications degree and the only thing you’ll have left to hold on to is your nerdy girlfriend that is making a hundred g’s testing out channel lotions on retarded kittens. Plus nerds know how to freak if you know what I mean.

POO!  Oh shit no.  HAAA.  That shit happened? To you?   Yo Sass!! Check this girl out. Man. Yo you gotta bail on the situation and if he ask you about it like blame it on your period cause nobody likes poo and not on a date especially not on a first date.  Sometime when I just take a shit in the washroom at the In and Out or where ever.  I just straight call my girl on the telephone and tell em I gotta step out side for a bit then I just bust out.  When she asks where I went I just tell her that I gonna surprise her later with somethin else.  I got a stack gold earrings that I bought at the Wal-Mart that I keep for just this sort of thing.  I like comic books. He must like them too. Or spring up on him with a KGJ rookie card cause that shits pimp like the Frasier spin off show.

Don’t wear that shit. You’ll get a rash or somethin and its not comfortable trust me I know for a fact.  I ain’t selfish down there if you know what I’m saying. Just do what I do and keep your underwear inside out to a two flip minimum or just wear nothing at all PEACE nothing at all.